Here’s The Thing... Aging is a New Experience

Let’s face it, aging is a whole new experience unlike any we have had before. My parents had a framed saying in their kitchen that said “Aging is not for Sissies.” I must have looked at that a hundred times and never given it much thought. But like so many things in life, now that I am living it, I am understanding it.

But aging is so many things.

Aging is actively living each day with the body and the emotions you have at the time. But there are so many emotions that are constantly changing. New emotions that you have never felt before and the challenges of how to handle these new and changing emotions.

The physical changes that accompany aging can be a source of both frustration and acceptance. We can be sad and angry over the loss of our youthful energy and the new and unwelcome aches and pains.  Everyday a new awareness. Yet there is a growing admiration for how many years our bodies have carried us thorough life. Lately I have noticed that my fingers are getting weaker and occasionally ache. But then I find myself looking at my hands and feeling amazement at what an engineering marvel they are and how they have moved and served my needs countless times over the years.

Aging is a complex and deeply personal experience, and the emotions that accompany it are just as varied. While everyone ages differently, there are some common emotions associated with growing older. But I think that fear may be the big one. It’s the one that most people do not talk about. The one from which most of the anxiety and sadness comes. I believe that suppressing this fear and not talking about it makes it worse. I believe it would be beneficial to talk about our fears and not just the anti-aging bullet point of lifestyle, healthy eating and gratitude. 

While fear is a natural human emotion experienced throughout life, it seems to be less openly discussed in the context of aging. Yet, it is in acknowledging and discussing this fear that we can discover our inner strength, our capacity for resilience and adaptation.

Bring your fears into the light by naming them.

Are you afraid of declining health, losing independence, financial insecurity, loneliness, or death? Often, our fears are amplified by negative thoughts and "what if" scenarios. Challenge these thoughts by asking yourself if they are truly realistic or if you are catastrophizing. These older years are really no different than the fears we experienced at many stages of our lives and we developed tools to manage the emotions. A tool kit to go to when we needed to deal with our fears at any age.

By encouraging open conversations about fear and aging, we can defuse some of the emotions that we experience and learn new coping mechanisms, viewpoints and attitudes. Remember, aging is not just one thing. There are so many components to aging; some we have never dealt with before. Acknowledge and accept your emotions. Aging can bring a mix of emotions, including sadness, fear, and anxiety. Allow yourself to feel these emotions without judgment.

And then, find healthy ways to manage stress and difficult emotions. This could include mindfulness, meditation, spending time in nature, pursuing hobbies and sharing emotions with friends. We are all in this together. It’s part of a natural process that begins life and ends life. But oh, what a ride! Embrace the aging process and embrace the unknown. Embracing the mystery of life is about adopting a mindset of curiosity, humility, and acceptance.