Do you remember when there were things that you loved to do so much that they created an excitement within you that was almost electric? I remember when landing in London, visiting NYC or arriving in Vegas gave me that feeling.
My husband and I call it “losing our Buzz.” It’s something we started noticing a few years ago. There was a time when stepping off a plane in New York City sent a rush through me. The noise, the movement, the possibility, I could feel it in my chest. Or arriving in Las Vegas, the lights, the energy, the sense that anything could happen. I didn’t just visit those places. I felt them. Now? I still enjoy them. I appreciate them. But the electric jolt isn’t quite the same.
At first, I wondered if something was wrong; was I becoming less enthusiastic? Less adventurous? Older in a way that felt… smaller? But the truth is more nuanced than that.
As we move through midlife, our nervous systems change. We are no longer fueled by the same level of urgency, novelty, and stimulation. We’ve seen more. We’ve done more. Our brains don’t light up the way they once did at familiar experiences.
And in many ways, that’s a gift. We’re steadier now and less reactive. More regulated. But it does raise a quiet question: When the buzz fades… what exactly is fading and what is left? What’s left might be appreciation without being overwhelmed, depth instead of drama, a quieter form of pleasure. On the other hand, what’s left might be indifference, disengagement, or a narrowing of interest. That’s the distinction that matters because losing intensity is natural; losing aliveness is not.
As we age, our brains become more efficient. We don’t need as much stimulation to feel okay. In fact, many of us crave less chaos. Our definition of “good” shifts from exhilarating to peaceful. Peaceful should still feel alive. The question underneath this sentence is …. has the buzz been replaced by something deeper or has it been replaced by nothing at all? Even more important, does it matter?
As it turns out it does matter because “nothing” feels different from “peace”. “Nothing” feels like emotional flatness, low-grade disengagement, as if you are watching life instead of engaging in it. If someone lives in this state long enough, they can begin to feel that this is what aging feels like.
The good news is that “nothing” is rarely permanent. It is often a signal that old sources of stimulation no longer work and new ones have not been chosen yet. Don’t chase the old buzz! Create new ones. Sometimes the buzz returns when you re-engage your curiosity. Sometimes it returns when you allow yourself to be a beginner again. Sometimes it returns when you risk mild discomfort instead of choosing automatic comfort.
And sometimes , this is important, you realize you don’t miss the old buzz at all.
Because what’s left is better.
Calm.
36 responses to “Losing Your Buzz”
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I agree with your assessment. Every moment doesn’t have to be spectacular. Every adventure doesn’t have to be worthy of your highlight reel. Sometimes quiet time by the river or ocean is just what the soul needs to recharge for the next adventure ahead. Time to savor the moment is a gift of life in your 70’s or 80’s.
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Yes, that’s us! We are more comfortable in our cocoon than jumping here and there. We turned 80 a day apart. My husband and I have a smaller social life but still active. Family is everything and our shared support of one another means a lot.
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Well said. Indeed, it’s a nice season to be in.
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This sounds silly but going to Nordstroms just to walk around for hours and have lunch used to be exhilarating but now I don’t even go. I miss that buzz. (Current age 76)
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This brilliant article sums up exactly what I have been experiencing but didn’t quite know how to articulate. My husband and I are both 76 and we’ve traveled extensively both in the US and abroad but we’re in a slump. I believe it started with Covid and we haven’t done anything exciting since. Complacency, lack of enthusiasm, fear??? We have lost the ‘buzz’ and I don’t know how to retrieve it!
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If you are American, and even if not, a new and honest president and administration who actually cares about the human race would be a great start. I am beginning to think that the state of the planet, the perpetration of fear, greed ,hate, cruelty and separation plays a huge part in our loss of enthusiasm. It certainly has affected our overall health and ability to heal.
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I hope you will allow me to respectfully disagree. How you live your life, is up to you having choices you are free to make. You control your life. Our President has millions of people to merge together for their best overall interest. Whether it is the current President or the last President.
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I noticed this a few years ago, about the time I turned 70. The joy in the everyday is there but I do miss the excitement in travel and shopping around in the little boutiques etc, I do appreciate this stage of life though, just wish it wouldn’t move so fast. Thanks for a good read! Lol
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Great post today. I have lost the buzz!
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My husband, 83, lost his ‘buzz’ about 81, but didn’t tell me. I’m79.75 but still have my buzz Conundrum
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Excellent!
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I call it “checking out” vs being “engaged” with life. I have friends in both camps. I still feel engaged.
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So true, very well explained. Thanks for sharing ! It helps putting things in perspective.
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This really gave me something to think about. I have lost interest in some things (traveling being one) and I was a little concerned. What you said does make sense now and explains how I have been feeling.
This is something to think about and for me to be aware of. -
We enjoy small trips and getting together with friends, dining out at new places.
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I totally agree! At 83, I feel a contentment and appreciate what is now…watching our grandchildren grow into adults, finishing college, finding jobs that fulfills them, finding love, marriage and soon our first great grandchild. So very proud of each!
Friendships we have cherished through the years and new friends, hobbies, gardening, book club, our home.…keeps us engaged and learning new things. -
what you said is so true but its hard to relaize we are as old as we are, that is the hard part for me knowing I can’t do the things I always did.
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It’s been worrying me that I am not excited….. but then…. I go to live music or the theatre with a friend and I feel so back to joy! Also after reading the book THE CORRESPONDENT a few months ago I was so thrilled to have read a most exceptional book! So I know that I am still alive!!!!! I’m 75…….. I’m going to keep looking and listening for what makes me feel this joy! And thank you ! I love your honesty and your ability to be vulnerable and share !!
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This perfectly explains how I have been feeling, post pandemic. I retired a little early at 64 one year ago and I have enjoyed a slower pace, but I feel myself getting too comfortable with staying home and working on crafts that I like . I have been going to the pool 3x a week but I need to get out more for sure!
Love your posts and social engagement! -
That was your best blog yet. At 78 most of the excitement of life is gone for me. I have traveled extensively when I was young and there definitely was a buzz back then. Now it’s nice to get away but definitely no buzz. You have to be realistic how much time do we have left.
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I still have “the buzz” but not about the same things. I’ve done those things you mentioned many times and “the buzz” faded the more I did them. So I’ve decided that “the buzz” comes from exploring new things, and now retired at 73, I have the time to explore. Maybe exploring those I abandoned during my career because family came first and I didn’t have time to pursue them.
So thank you for your inspiration. And your outlook on life. -
I am turning 65 soon, my husband will be 70 at the end of the year and my parents thank god are well. My dad is 99. In October he will be 100. My mom is almost 94.
I have been retired since 2021 due to medical issues and am so grateful to even be here. My husband and I are working to plan a trip up to main by car with our small dog and for some reason I feel afraid to do it. I have never felt like this and totally relate to that buzz you spoke of. It seems like in some cases with the unfamiliar I feel a bit of fear instead of excitement. I don’t like that I feel like that and am moving forward anyway.
I have also always worked out, played sports etc but now see a shift of that as well. I still workout with weights and walk but in a much gentler way.
I have followed you for a few years now and I really like the thought that aging is changing and it doesn’t have to be a bitter slow decline. I use that statement as my mantra. I am also working on acceptance. Acceptance that this I the chapter in life I am in now. I practice gratitude every day even if I’m feeling off.
It’s funny, when we are younger we strive to achieve the next big dream or thing and now I enjoy just being where my feet are with no judgement. In a big way, it is very freeing.
Your words are appreciated.
Linda
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This is a great observation
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Thank you for the lovely inspiration!
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Thank you so much for this truthful comment. We travel a lot and what once “filled my cup” as I ran to see the sites is now low on my list. Now at 71 I too can relate to your words. Truly enjoy engaging in lively conversations with the locals and even visiting grocery stores, flower shops, yummy bakeries, etc. I remember those special occasions that were filled with laughter, learning about the culture, and being present as I engaged with people over a cup of coffee. My new approach to travel has been categorized as depression, which I battle. Yes, it worried me I was becoming an old, dull senior losing my “love of wonder” that has always empowered me. Now I know I haven’t lost my excitement for “wonder” and especially that I am not alone. Thank you a million and for “filling my cup.”
Blessings 🙋🏻♀️✈️ -
Well said, it’s a subtle distinction, but real and important. Thanks for the post!
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I’m 71…
My husband drops me off in Fort Myers and goes back to work. He’s 71 too.
We’re different. I’ve done my time.
My brain still thinks we are in our 20’s (the Best of times!) but my body says Grownup, you’re old and you have arthritis riddled thruout!
I enjoy my peace and quiet but I crave action.
I joined a tennis league!
It’s my first true love! But I’m not competitive, it’s just so, much, fun!
I met a whole new group of friends and I feel great playing my favourite game!
We are back home now.
And he is still working.
I try to tend to my HUGE garden but it is painful and the weather is different here. It really is better weather in Florida, joint-wise!
I pushed myself in Florida. I learned mah-Jong and loved it! I learned pickleball, and it’s fun, I hate keeping score still, and I’d rather play tennis! I’ve tried bocce ball too!
Keeping an open mind and trying new things because… YOLO!
YOUR ARTICLE IS TOTALLY HITTING ME!
I’m different now, even tho my mind says I can do anything, my body says, just watch yourself! We have grown apart since we got married, but we are still together.. different than before, but the same wants and needs.
Ageing shouldn’t be scary or resigned to waiting for whatever comes next. Live your life to the fullest! And it doesn’t have to be amazing… it just has to be What YOU Want it to be to be Happy! Make It So! -
I needed this you are so wise!
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I’m falling into complacency b/c my husband has gone blind, heart trouble, heart problems and can hardly do anything. I’m miserable, my saving grace is I work 3 days a week for our church. Your article was so informative and helpful, thank you
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I have a sign I savor in my home-
Life doesn’t have to be perfect to be Wonderful. Seems like this fits your thoughts. -
Wonderful post!! Really resonated with me. I have lost a bit of my buzz, but not all. I think everyone is different and just realizing what makes you happy is the key!
Thank you, love following you! -
I’ve just returned from a month in Italy, then a quick turn around to the beaches of Queensland, for two weeks, returning home and in another 5 weeks will be off to the UK for 5 weeks. All lovely, but as you point out so well, missing the ‘buzz’. I thought it was just my husband and me, but apparently not. So pleased to have your thoughts. All is not lost at all. Just perfectly natural.
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I was so busy working raising my kids and being a single parent I didn’t do a lot to get the buzz. Things have changed. Met my husband, retired and started new adventures. I learned bridge, play Bocce, golf more and it has developed into new friends. I exercise more, lost the extra weight I was carrying, eat fresh food, more fish and avoid sugar, slight increase in weights so I can keep going strong. I am 76. I love watching and reading your blogs. You are amazing.
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Great article. I turned 79 a few days ago and my husband will be 79 in a week. As we finish last minute details for our trip to Spain and Portugal tomorrow, I will let you know if we feel the buzz or not. I do know that I always feel anxious before a trip abroad with all the “what ifs” clogging my mind. We didn’t do much traveling until we retired but have loved every minute of it over the past 15 or so years.
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I love you 😘
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Thank you!! I love how you explained this. I feel much better about enjoying comfort!
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