Do you remember when there were things that you loved to do so much that they created an excitement within you that was almost electric? I remember when landing in London, visiting NYC or arriving in Vegas gave me that feeling.
My husband and I call it “losing our Buzz.” It’s something we started noticing a few years ago. There was a time when stepping off a plane in New York City sent a rush through me. The noise, the movement, the possibility, I could feel it in my chest. Or arriving in Las Vegas, the lights, the energy, the sense that anything could happen. I didn’t just visit those places. I felt them. Now? I still enjoy them. I appreciate them. But the electric jolt isn’t quite the same.
At first, I wondered if something was wrong; was I becoming less enthusiastic? Less adventurous? Older in a way that felt… smaller? But the truth is more nuanced than that.
As we move through midlife, our nervous systems change. We are no longer fueled by the same level of urgency, novelty, and stimulation. We’ve seen more. We’ve done more. Our brains don’t light up the way they once did at familiar experiences.
And in many ways, that’s a gift. We’re steadier now and less reactive. More regulated. But it does raise a quiet question: When the buzz fades… what exactly is fading and what is left? What’s left might be appreciation without being overwhelmed, depth instead of drama, a quieter form of pleasure. On the other hand, what’s left might be indifference, disengagement, or a narrowing of interest. That’s the distinction that matters because losing intensity is natural; losing aliveness is not.
As we age, our brains become more efficient. We don’t need as much stimulation to feel okay. In fact, many of us crave less chaos. Our definition of “good” shifts from exhilarating to peaceful. Peaceful should still feel alive. The question underneath this sentence is …. has the buzz been replaced by something deeper or has it been replaced by nothing at all? Even more important, does it matter?
As it turns out it does matter because “nothing” feels different from “peace”. “Nothing” feels like emotional flatness, low-grade disengagement, as if you are watching life instead of engaging in it. If someone lives in this state long enough, they can begin to feel that this is what aging feels like.
The good news is that “nothing” is rarely permanent. It is often a signal that old sources of stimulation no longer work and new ones have not been chosen yet. Don’t chase the old buzz! Create new ones. Sometimes the buzz returns when you re-engage your curiosity. Sometimes it returns when you allow yourself to be a beginner again. Sometimes it returns when you risk mild discomfort instead of choosing automatic comfort.
And sometimes , this is important, you realize you don’t miss the old buzz at all.
Because what’s left is better.
Calm.
Leave a Reply