Do you remember when there were things that you loved to do so much that they created an excitement within you that was almost electric? I remember when landing in London, visiting NYC or arriving in Vegas gave me that feeling.
My husband and I call it “losing our Buzz.” It’s something we started noticing a few years ago. There was a time when stepping off a plane in New York City sent a rush through me. The noise, the movement, the possibility, I could feel it in my chest. Or arriving in Las Vegas, the lights, the energy, the sense that anything could happen. I didn’t just visit those places. I felt them. Now? I still enjoy them. I appreciate them. But the electric jolt isn’t quite the same.
At first, I wondered if something was wrong; was I becoming less enthusiastic? Less adventurous? Older in a way that felt… smaller? But the truth is more nuanced than that.
As we move through midlife, our nervous systems change. We are no longer fueled by the same level of urgency, novelty, and stimulation. We’ve seen more. We’ve done more. Our brains don’t light up the way they once did at familiar experiences.
And in many ways, that’s a gift. We’re steadier now and less reactive. More regulated. But it does raise a quiet question: When the buzz fades… what exactly is fading and what is left? What’s left might be appreciation without being overwhelmed, depth instead of drama, a quieter form of pleasure. On the other hand, what’s left might be indifference, disengagement, or a narrowing of interest. That’s the distinction that matters because losing intensity is natural; losing aliveness is not.
As we age, our brains become more efficient. We don’t need as much stimulation to feel okay. In fact, many of us crave less chaos. Our definition of “good” shifts from exhilarating to peaceful. Peaceful should still feel alive. The question underneath this sentence is …. has the buzz been replaced by something deeper or has it been replaced by nothing at all? Even more important, does it matter?
As it turns out it does matter because “nothing” feels different from “peace”. “Nothing” feels like emotional flatness, low-grade disengagement, as if you are watching life instead of engaging in it. If someone lives in this state long enough, they can begin to feel that this is what aging feels like.
The good news is that “nothing” is rarely permanent. It is often a signal that old sources of stimulation no longer work and new ones have not been chosen yet. Don’t chase the old buzz! Create new ones. Sometimes the buzz returns when you re-engage your curiosity. Sometimes it returns when you allow yourself to be a beginner again. Sometimes it returns when you risk mild discomfort instead of choosing automatic comfort.
And sometimes , this is important, you realize you don’t miss the old buzz at all.
Because what’s left is better.
Calm.
17 responses to “Losing Your Buzz”
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I agree with your assessment. Every moment doesn’t have to be spectacular. Every adventure doesn’t have to be worthy of your highlight reel. Sometimes quiet time by the river or ocean is just what the soul needs to recharge for the next adventure ahead. Time to savor the moment is a gift of life in your 70’s or 80’s.
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Yes, that’s us! We are more comfortable in our cocoon than jumping here and there. We turned 80 a day apart. My husband and I have a smaller social life but still active. Family is everything and our shared support of one another means a lot.
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Well said. Indeed, it’s a nice season to be in.
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This sounds silly but going to Nordstroms just to walk around for hours and have lunch used to be exhilarating but now I don’t even go. I miss that buzz. (Current age 76)
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This brilliant article sums up exactly what I have been experiencing but didn’t quite know how to articulate. My husband and I are both 76 and we’ve traveled extensively both in the US and abroad but we’re in a slump. I believe it started with Covid and we haven’t done anything exciting since. Complacency, lack of enthusiasm, fear??? We have lost the ‘buzz’ and I don’t know how to retrieve it!
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I noticed this a few years ago, about the time I turned 70. The joy in the everyday is there but I do miss the excitement in travel and shopping around in the little boutiques etc, I do appreciate this stage of life though, just wish it wouldn’t move so fast. Thanks for a good read! Lol
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Great post today. I have lost the buzz!
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My husband, 83, lost his ‘buzz’ about 81, but didn’t tell me. I’m79.75 but still have my buzz Conundrum
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Excellent!
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I call it “checking out” vs being “engaged” with life. I have friends in both camps. I still feel engaged.
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So true, very well explained. Thanks for sharing ! It helps putting things in perspective.
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This really gave me something to think about. I have lost interest in some things (traveling being one) and I was a little concerned. What you said does make sense now and explains how I have been feeling.
This is something to think about and for me to be aware of. -
We enjoy small trips and getting together with friends, dining out at new places.
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I totally agree! At 83, I feel a contentment and appreciate what is now…watching our grandchildren grow into adults, finishing college, finding jobs that fulfills them, finding love, marriage and soon our first great grandchild. So very proud of each!
Friendships we have cherished through the years and new friends, hobbies, gardening, book club, our home.…keeps us engaged and learning new things. -
what you said is so true but its hard to relaize we are as old as we are, that is the hard part for me knowing I can’t do the things I always did.
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It’s been worrying me that I am not excited….. but then…. I go to live music or the theatre with a friend and I feel so back to joy! Also after reading the book THE CORRESPONDENT a few months ago I was so thrilled to have read a most exceptional book! So I know that I am still alive!!!!! I’m 75…….. I’m going to keep looking and listening for what makes me feel this joy! And thank you ! I love your honesty and your ability to be vulnerable and share !!
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This perfectly explains how I have been feeling, post pandemic. I retired a little early at 64 one year ago and I have enjoyed a slower pace, but I feel myself getting too comfortable with staying home and working on crafts that I like . I have been going to the pool 3x a week but I need to get out more for sure!
Love your posts and social engagement!
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