Get Out of Your Own Way

Many years ago, I was having lunch with an older woman who had gone through a tough time but was now doing well and achieving new goals. I remember her saying to me “I had to learn to get out of my own way”. That quote haunted me for years as I did not fully understand what she meant and I thought it was an odd thing to say. Many years have come and gone since then and I now fully understand the meaning of what she said to me.

We are often our own worst enemy sometimes we hold our selves back from dreams and accomplishments by our own thoughts and self-doubt. Fear of failure, perfectionism, or a critical inner voice can all prevent us from taking action. Even if you are taking action fear and anxiety can keep you from being and doing your best. You may have coping mechanisms that hinder your progress. Fear of changing can make you hesitant to pursue new options and opportunities.

 I am a perfect example of this. Years ago, when I was working in NYC a friend encouraged me to try out for a commercial. I got to the audition and I was so nervous during the audition that I could not do what I knew I was capable of doing. If I could have thrown a switch and turned off that anxiety, I would have been able to “get out of my own way”.  But instead, I kept myself from being able to do what I knew I was capable of doing. In later years in the business world, I had to learn to do just that.  Navigating the business world demanded projecting confidence, even if I didn't feel it. This experience sparked a crucial realization: limitations are self-imposed and can be overcome.

 In our senior years it is possible that we could be limiting ourselves to aging in ways that are not ideal. Are we settling for situations because our anxieties, thoughts and habits are holding us back? What can we do to get out of our own way? If you still have goals that you want to achieve start by breaking them down into manageable smaller goals. Over whelming tasks can be paralyzing. Chunk them into smaller, more manageable steps. Practice self-compassion, be kind to yourself when you stumble. Everyone makes mistakes. Forgive yourself and get back on track. Sometimes you have to just do it. Sometimes the best way to overcome procrastination is to simply start. Take a small action step towards your goal, even if you don't feel completely ready. See challenges as opportunities to learn and grow. Reframe them as stepping stones to your goals. Overall, "learning to get out of your own way" is about taking responsibility for your own happiness and success. It's about removing the self-imposed barriers that prevent you from reaching your full potential.

You might be surprised to find that at this time in your life you are actually no longer in your own way and are able to do things that you were not able to do as a younger person. The wisdom of life has a way of putting us in a different place emotionally than we were in when we were younger. The person that you think you are now may be based on past experiences that have grown out of proportion in your mind. You are never too old to achieve lifelong goals. So go ahead “Put your toe in the water”, “Spread your wings”, “Just do it”.  If not now? When?